Common Questions: What If My Partner Wants an Open Relationship, but I Don’t?

What Can I Do If I Don’t Want an Open Relationship?

If your partner is suggesting an open relationship but that’s something you’re not comfortable with, it’s important to remain true to your feelings and express them clearly and honestly.

We often hear and read about various models of relationships these days, but for many people, values such as loyalty, commitment, and exclusivity remain central to a loving partnership.

In Profemina’s counselling sessions, women frequently share how crucial it is to feel supported by their partner—to feel they can count on him and trust him. This desire for reliability and emotional safety isn’t limited to future plans or starting a family; it begins much earlier—whether your relationship is still quite new or has already stood the test of time.

Perhaps your partner’s words came as a shock or were even painful to hear—and that’s completely understandable. The idea of an open relationship can be deeply unsettling. Questions like, “Am I not enough for him?” or “Does he no longer want to be with me?” may arise, potentially leading you to question the whole relationship.

Have the two of you had a chance to talk more deeply about where this idea is coming from or what they’re hoping to find in it? What values are important to them? Are there unmet needs in your relationship? Might past experiences be influencing their perspective? Honest, open dialogue could help you understand each other on a deeper level. You might also reflect on the different dimensions of your relationship: Where do you feel most connected at the moment, and which area might need more care?

Here are a few possible levels of connection:

• Romantic Bond: You enjoy emotional and physical closeness and cherish simply being near each other.
• Emotional Intimacy: You share personal thoughts and feelings, stay attuned to one another’s wellbeing, and feel truly understood.
• Teamwork & Family Life: You experience yourselves as a strong, coordinated team—whether in day-to-day life or shared projects.
• Shared Values: You’re united by common goals and a shared vision for your future.

Couples counselling could also offer valuable insights into your deepest desires and help you find a way forward together. Perhaps the emotional or romantic closeness between you has faded into the background amidst everyday responsibilities. In that case, it could be well worth rekindling that early spark and nurturing your bond anew.

Above all, this is a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. This is about your heart—regardless of what others think or expect. The most important thing is that you feel safe, valued, and secure in your relationship, and that you can genuinely trust your partner. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into something that goes against your personal values or intuition.

We wish you all the very best 💚