Do you know the doubts about becoming a good mother? Or do you ask yourself: Am I a good mum?
- Many women feel similarly when faced with this question. They have a deep desire to be there for a child in the best possible way. And at the same time, there's the uncertainty about whether they can live up to this.
- Sometimes it's high expectations from others that make it difficult for women when they think about motherhood. Or it's their own demands to be perfect.
- What can help you: Becoming aware of what children need most and developing a positive, self-confident perspective! You can find out how to do this in this article and in the personality test.
Find out in the personality test what makes you as a person, what strengths you carry within you, what you would be like as a mother and what particularly concerns women like you during pregnancy!
Personality Test
Find out in 2 minutes what type you are!
What defines you as a personality? What strengths do you carry within you?
The Image of the Perfect Mother – and Real Life
Perhaps you think back to your own childhood, how you grew up. Perhaps you're also unsettled by other people's reactions and comments that have stayed in your memory. Or do you frequently compare yourself with other women and mothers?
Often, a certain image then emerges of how you should ideally be as a mother or how you would wish to be yourself. Caring and loving, creative and always in a good mood, for example. Or the perfect family manager who is also an attractive partner, sporty, has a balanced work-life balance and pursues a successful career?
Yet this usually causes – if we're honest – stress or a guilty conscience. And if you take a close look at others too, images and stories on social media are usually only snapshots and don't reflect real life. What women and mothers achieve day after day is usually not visible. Nor is what really matters about being a mother.
Do you have questions or concerns? Write your request directly here ⬇️
What Makes a Good Mother? The Child's Perspective:
If we were to let children have their say on this question, they probably wouldn't wish first and foremost to have a room full of toys or to go on holiday to exclusive places four times a year. Perhaps it's more likely to be moments like these that they'll look back on with gratitude later: Now and then there were noodles with tomato sauce 😊 When I had heartache, I could cry it out or turn the music up loud. When I got bad marks, the world didn't fall apart; instead, we made plans for how I could improve. …
Children are pleased, for example, when they learn that you can make up after an argument. When they see that Mum and Dad aren't perfect, but are authentic and mean well from the heart. Children grow when they're encouraged to go their own way.
Children primarily need love and security. As Goethe is said to have once remarked: "There are two things children should get from their parents. Roots whilst they are small and wings when they grow older."
So it's not about competing to be the best mother, but about getting to know your child as they are, loving them and then assuring them that they're fine just as they are!
Incidentally, love for a child can and may also develop gradually. Especially when a pregnancy comes as a surprise, many women naturally need time first to get used to the idea of motherhood.
Perhaps you're already a mother and worry whether you'll be able to do justice to everyone with another child?
You Are You – Shape Motherhood in Your Own Way!
Have courage and trust in yourself to live your personal style of motherhood and to shape family life accordingly!
If, for example, you're the organised type who has a family calendar hanging on the wall and knows at all times when children's splashing at the swimming pool is on and when the weekly shop is due: Then that's brilliant!
And if you're more the creative, spontaneous type and love chasing butterflies with your child whilst exploring new areas together: Then that's equally wonderful!
Right and wrong are not the categories for working out how you should be as a mother. Instead, be authentic and genuine, as befits you – and from the heart! 💖
And the special tip: You don't have to manage everything on your own all the time! Many women share this expectation and may have inherited it from previous generations. But there are many possibilities and support services available – especially if you have other projects, voluntary work or a job alongside being a mother.
Perhaps babysitters, borrowed grannies or children's activity programmes could help you? Or exchange and support with other mothers and families who join forces?
You can get inspiration and help here:
Pregnant and Full of Worry About Whether You Can Be a Good Mother?
Perhaps a lot is coming together for you right now. Circumstances are making it difficult for you or you're asking yourself whether and how you could care well for your child in such a situation. The relationship is difficult, the timing is inconvenient, you have financial worries, you're overloaded ... ? Or you don't yet feel any joy or maternal feelings and are wondering what's wrong with you?
💪 Find new courage again – take the strengths test
⛑ Unplanned pregnancy: first aid test
