You Know the Doubts About Becoming a Good Mother? Or You're Asking Yourself: Am I a Good Mom?
- Many women feel similarly about this question. They have a deep desire to be there for a child in the best way possible. And at the same time, there's uncertainty about whether they can live up to that.
- Sometimes it's high expectations from others that make it difficult for women when they think about motherhood. Or it's their own demands to be perfect.
- What can help you: Becoming aware of what children need most, and developing a positive, confident perspective! You can learn how to do this in this article and in the personality test.
Discover in the Personality Test What Makes You Who You Are, What Strengths You Carry Within You, How You Would Be as a Mother, and What Especially Concerns Women Like You During Pregnancy!
Personality Test
Find out in 2 minutes what type you are!
What makes you as a person? What strengths do you carry within you?
The Image of the Perfect Mother – and Real Life
Perhaps you think back to your own childhood, how you grew up. Maybe you're also unsettled by other people's reactions and comments that have stuck in your memory. Or do you frequently compare yourself to other women and mothers?
Often, a certain image emerges of how you should ideally be as a mother or how you would wish to be. Caring and loving, creative and always in a good mood, for example. Or the perfect family manager who is also an attractive partner, athletic, has a balanced work-life balance, and pursues a successful career?
But this usually creates – if we're being honest – stress or a guilty conscience. And if you take a close look at others, pictures and stories on social media are usually just snapshots and don't reflect real life. What women and mothers accomplish day after day is usually not visible. Nor is what really matters about being a mother.
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What Makes a Good Mother? The Child's Perspective:
If we were to let children have their say on this question, they probably wouldn't wish first and foremost to have a room full of toys or to vacation at exclusive locations four times a year. Perhaps it's rather moments like these that they'll look back on with gratitude later: Every now and then we had pasta with tomato sauce 😊 When I had heartbreak, I could cry it out or turn up the music loud. When I got bad grades, the world didn't fall apart; instead, we made plans for how I could do better. …
Children are happy, for example, when they learn that you can make up after an argument. When they see that Mom and Dad aren't perfect, but are authentic and genuinely mean well. Children grow when they're encouraged to go their own way.
Children primarily need love and security. As Goethe is said to have once stated: "There are two things children should get from their parents. Roots while they're small and wings when they grow up."
So it's not about competing in a motherhood contest, but about getting to know your child as they are, loving them, and then assuring them that they're good just the way they are!
By the way, love for a child can and may develop gradually. Especially when a pregnancy comes as a surprise, many women naturally need time to get used to the idea of motherhood.
Perhaps you're already a mother and are worried about whether you can do justice to everyone with another child?
You Are You – Shape Motherhood in Your Own Way!
Have courage and trust in yourself to live your personal style of motherhood and shape family life accordingly!
If, for example, you're the organized type who has a family calendar hanging on the wall and knows at all times when it's time for kids' swimming at the pool and when the weekly grocery shopping is due: Then that's great!
And if you're more the creative, spontaneous type and love chasing butterflies with your child while exploring new areas: Then that's equally wonderful!
Right and wrong are not the categories for figuring out how you should be as a mother. But rather authentic and genuine, as it suits you – and from the heart! 💖
And the special tip: You don't have to handle everything on your own all the time! Many women share this expectation and may have adopted it from previous generations. But there are many possibilities and support services available – especially if you have other projects, volunteer work, or a job in addition to being a mother.
Perhaps babysitters, surrogate grandmas, or children's camps could help you? Or exchange and support with other mothers and families who team up together?
You can get inspiration and help here:
Pregnant and Full of Worry About Whether You Can Be a Good Mother?
Perhaps several things are coming together for you right now. Circumstances are making it difficult for you, or you're wondering if and how you could take good care of your child in such a situation. The relationship is difficult, the timing is wrong, you have financial worries, you're overwhelmed … ? Or you don't yet feel joy or maternal feelings and are wondering what's wrong with you?
- 💪 Find New Courage Again – to the Strengths Test
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