Overcoming Pregnancy Anxiety
- Finding out you are pregnant can turn your life upside down. While you may experience joy and curiosity, concerns and even anxiety may surface, as well. Doubts often arise, such as: Am I up to the task of being a mother? How will I manage with a(nother) baby? What if I don't get enough support? Will I have to surrender some of my life goals?
- Sometimes, certain circumstances can give rise to anxiety during pregnancy, such as fear about how others might react or concerns about the baby's development. Maybe your relationship is rocky, and you are anxious about a possible break-up.
- Anxiety is a common emotion when conflicted about a pregnancy and struggling to make a good decision. Fear of making the wrong choice arises when wrestling with the decision, "Should I have an abortion or keep the baby?"
This page addresses the prominence of anxiety in (unplanned) pregnancies and how to manage it.
Anxiety in (Unplanned) Pregnancies / Fear of Uncertainty and Change
Anxiety is one of the chief emotions accompanying many women throughout their pregnancy. Oftentimes, it kicks in even before the pregnancy is confirmed.
Many women have sought out digital counseling through Profemina because of a pregnancy scare or fear of what a pregnancy test could reveal. These concerns are caused by external conditions, the (anticipated) reaction of others, or a fear of change or of the unknown.
Everyone is familiar with a unique nuance of this emotion, which varies according to personality, circumstances, and experiences.
Fear - A Helpful Instinct
Fear is not bad in itself. It is an instinct that warns us, making us aware of danger. Its usefulness is proven by the protection it provides. The fear of getting burnt by fire or falling while mountain climbing in the dark is justified and protects us from dangerous actions.
Fear can help us recognize dangers and find suitable solutions to avert them.
When pregnant, the fear of being overwhelmed by an additional child could be a warning sign that should not be ignored. It may incentivize you to find extra help, such as a cleaner, or to make use of other support options in order to take some of the pressure off your shoulders.
When Anxiety Becomes Overwhelming...
When fear does its job well, it remains in the background, protecting us and encouraging us to care for ourselves. As soon as fear becomes overpowering, sapping our joy and energy, and making us feel weak and powerless, we need to hit the brakes!
When we are overwhelmed by anxiety, it is only natural to desire to escape it by fleeing from it. Anxiety can become unbearable and affects us intensely. Any way out seems welcome.
The problem is that it continues to grow as long as we avoid fear rather than confronting it. It looms, larger and larger, obstructing our view of what is good and beautiful. As long as we don’t address our fears directly, but submit to them, they will seem unassailable — clouding our clarity of mind!
Fear loses much of its power as soon as you calmly bring it into the light and examine it.
You Are More Than Your Fears!
Fear can be a nasty player and a bad advisor — especially at the beginning of an unplanned pregnancy. It keeps you from making decisions that are guided by a clear head and a calm heart.
The good news is that you have the power to decide how much room your fear may take. It is up to you whether you allow it to dominate, blocking out all beautiful emotions, confidence, and hope.
Alternatively, you can accept its presence and purpose — while banning it to the back seat rather than keeping it as your primary focus. It can warn you from the periphery, without blocking your view and path.
Have your fear under control rather than letting it control you!
Sometimes, that is easier said than done. While anxiety may sometimes dissipate, it may also remain for a time. If this is your experience, focus on the following questions:
- What positive and beautiful emotions are present?
- What am I looking forward to? What is something I delight in?
- What am I thankful for?
- What is going well right now, despite the challenges?
- What do I yearn for? What are my dreams?
- If I chose to walk by hope, love, and courage, where would that place me right now?
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Four Tips for Overcoming Pregnancy Anxiety
Here are a few suggestions on how to counteract anxiety during pregnancy:
1. Name Your Fear!
Try to recognize precisely what you are anxious about. Is it the fear of having to raise the child by yourself? Are you fearing a loss of freedom? Are you worried about becoming overwhelmed as a mother?
It is not uncommon for women dealing with pregnancy anxiety to initially describe other concerns without mentioning the issue that is really affecting them. Sometimes, this is because they are still avoiding the real problem or are embarrassed or unsure whether they will be taken seriously. It is worth addressing the actual fear—especially long term. Otherwise, it may continue to fester and grow, sapping your energy and affecting you for years to come.
Naming your fear disempowers it by making it attackable.
2. List Your Fears!
Writing down your fears does not make them vanish — but they lose their terror. Suddenly, they shrink to a manageable size.
This list can be laid aside. By doing so, you give your concerns a place to adjourn while you gather new strength. When you feel ready, revisit the list by yourself or with a friend. Now, you can scrutinize each point and seek solutions.
With time and patience, many more possibilities that had been kept hidden by fear come to light.
3. Take Your Concerns Seriously and Seek Support!
Fears are justified. They serve to avoid or prevent danger. How do you heed its warning and keep it from coming true? Think about what kind of support would be helpful to give you sufficient alone time with your partner. Brainstorm about how to create room to breathe, giving you space to replenish your strength. How far could you prepare for the other kids' well-being when the new baby arrives?
If you are unsure about discerning and implementing solutions, or if you would like to talk to someone about things, ask yourself: Who could be a support to me right now? Who do I know who is encouraging and solution-minded — maybe someone who has advised me well in the past?
This kind of support is likely also available at a mother-and-baby group at your local library or church, or go to our community support page: 🙌 Support Near Me
4. Remember Your Strengths!
Every woman has unique strengths — you do, too! Think back on how you overcame difficult situations in the past. You have been given this great challenge, because you have the ability to master it.
If you are faced with the decision of whether to have an abortion or keep the baby, take part in our weeklong decision coaching. Working through the tips and tests embedded in our daily emails can help you rediscover your strengths. Addressing your worries within these seven emails gives voice to your values and makes room for your abilities. This decision coaching includes food for thought, tips for a mature decision, and experiences from other women.
Try some of our other free tests:
- ⚖️ Should I Get an Abortion? Abortion Test
- 🍷🚬Worried that your consumption may have hurt the baby? Tox Test
- 🤰Anxious you might be pregnant? Online Pregnancy Test
- 🧔🏻♂️How do I respond if he does not want the baby? Quiz
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