Frequently Asked Questions: First Aid in Relationship Crises

Crisis and Conflict in a Relationship – What Can Help?
Advice and First Helpful Steps

1. Stay Calm and Take Time
Rein in the emotions: In times of crisis or conflict, strong emotions are natural. Try to stay calm and avoid escalating the situation out of impulse.

Take time for yourself: Taking a step back can help you sort your thoughts and relieve emotional pressure. How could you make space just for yourself—maybe today or over the weekend?

2. Speak Lovingly with Each Other
Listen attentively: Take the time to really listen to each other—without reacting or judging right away. This shows respect and a willingness to understand.

Use “I” statements: Instead of making accusations, try expressing your own feelings and needs. This helps your partner understand what’s bothering or hurting you. Can you sense what’s behind your feelings and what needs you may have?

3. Develop Understanding for Your Partner
Try a change of perspective: Make an effort to see the situation from your partner’s point of view. What could be motivating them? Often, it’s not bad intentions but rather insecurity, inattention, or even worry and fear. This can help clear up misunderstandings.

Show understanding: Let your partner know you’re aware of their feelings or at least trying to be. Showing understanding is often the first step toward resolution. And if you don’t yet understand, signal your willingness to try. Ask how they’re doing and what they hope for.

4. Name Problems Clearly and Look for Solutions
Identify the real issue: Sometimes conflicts escalate because the true issue hasn’t been addressed. Try to name the core problem honestly and separate it from side issues.

Focus on solutions: Rather than circling around the problem again and again, think together about what a solution might look like. Even small steps or partial solutions can be a valuable start—especially when tackling everything at once feels overwhelming.

5. Shared Time and Closeness
Reconnect with each other: Plan time intentionally for shared activities that help you grow closer again. What connects you as a couple? What brings you joy or gives you a shared sense of purpose?

Rebuild closeness: Small gestures of affection—like a touch or a hug—can be very comforting during a crisis. And if physical closeness feels like too much right now, a brief message or other thoughtful gestures can still maintain connection.

6. Consider Outside Support
Counseling or therapy: Even before a crisis becomes deeply entrenched or communication breaks down completely, professional couples counseling or therapy can help. Many couples find that it strengthens their bond and helps them face challenges early on.

Involve friends or family: Sometimes it can be helpful to open up to a trusted friend or family member to gain a fresh perspective. But be careful not to form an alliance against your partner—keep reconciliation in focus.

7. Self-Reflection and Self-Care
Reflect on your own behavior: What can you personally change to help improve the situation? A little honesty—and perhaps some creativity—can go a long way. While you can't control your partner’s behavior, you can decide how you want to act. That kind of self-awareness can be a key to change.

Practice self-care: In times of crisis, it’s important to care for yourself emotionally and physically. What could help calm your inner turmoil right now? What helps you recharge and regain your strength?

8. Willingness to Compromise and Patience
Find common ground: Can you find a “middle path” as a couple? Where can each of you make concessions? And where are your personal boundaries?

Practice patience: Crises rarely resolve overnight. It takes patience and a willingness to invest in yourself and your relationship. But within that lies the opportunity for real renewal—to lay a stronger foundation, one that supports not just the near future, but a shared life together.

We wish you all the best! 💚