Frequently Asked Questions: Newlywed with baby but in love with someone else— Now what?

I’ve Fallen in Love with Another Man – What Should I Do?

You’re married, a (new) mom, and now you’re developing feelings for another man? That can be deeply unsettling and confusing—understandably so.

Here are some thoughts and tips to help you navigate this situation:

1. Is It True Love—or Just a Feeling?
   A good first step is to honestly ask yourself what it is about this other man that feels so attractive right now. Is it physical attraction? Something emotional? Do you feel a certain closeness because you share a lot, spend time together, or have mutual friends or connections (such as a colleague, a friend, or a neighbor)? Do you feel like he offers something you’re currently missing in your relationship
2. Think About the Possible Consequences
   Especially if you find yourself emotionally fixated on this other man, it’s wise to take a step back and reflect: If you're seriously considering whether to start a relationship with him, what would that decision mean—for you and for others? Who else would be affected besides the two of you? Your husband or partner, your child(ren), and possibly his partner and children as well? Other people who are close to both of you might also be impacted by this decision.
3. Consider the Value of a Committed Relationship
   Of course, there are relationship situations that are very difficult or even unbearable, and in such cases, it’s necessary to think carefully about whether and how to continue. But more often than not, it’s the everyday pressures—especially for young families—that make relationships feel strained. There's little time for personal needs, and being parents can overshadow your connection as a couple. These same challenges might arise in a new relationship as well.
   That said, commitment and family are incredibly valuable—and worth fighting for. Especially if you’re newly married, share children, and have built a good relationship overall. In such a case, feelings for someone else might even be a wake-up call to honestly reflect: What am I missing in my relationship right now? What do I long for? It’s also possible that your partner may feel the same way.

Have You Talked to Your Husband or Partner?
Have you shared with him what you’re missing and what you’re hoping for in your life together? Have you given him—and your relationship—the chance to grow and rebuild?
Feelings of infatuation often come and go. But what other values, goals, and shared experiences form the foundation of your marriage and family life? What do you appreciate about your partner? What connects you? Perhaps over the years you’ve built deep trust—a bond that doesn’t form overnight and is therefore very precious. Maybe you’d like to give your relationship the chance to rediscover that early sense of closeness and affection. For example, setting aside regular time as a couple—like planning a weekly date night with the help of a babysitter—could help reignite that connection and strengthen your love.

Our Advice If You Want to Let Go of the Feelings for the Other Man and Protect Your Relationship:

• Try to avoid contact with the other man and stop spending time with him. This helps prevent the feelings from growing—and ideally, they may even fade.
• If it’s difficult to avoid him completely, try to change the nature of your interactions. For example, make sure you’re not alone with him—include others in conversations or meetings.
• If the other man is a close friend of your partner and you're concerned about how your distance might be perceived, consider having an open conversation with your partner.
• Speak honestly with your partner: Reassure him that you love him and want to stay with him. Let him know that the feelings for the other man are unwanted and that’s why you need to create distance. Being honest isn’t just fair to your partner—it can also help rebuild and strengthen the trust between you.

We’re Wishing You All the Best! 💚