Thinking It Through: Reasons Not to Have an Abortion

Reasons Not to Have an Abortion

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Reasons Against Terminating the Pregnancy

  • “I don’t have the heart to go through with the abortion. I would never forgive myself.”
    → Women who desire to have a baby one day, but the present circumstances do not seem ideal, often mention this argument as to why they ultimately decide against a termination.

  • This is also a recurring argument from women as to why they choose not to have an abortion.
    → “I am afraid that I may miss my only chance ever to have a baby.”
  • This reason is frequently given during counseling.
    → “I will keep the baby — not because I am excited to have it, but because I don’t want to kill it. I could not square it with my conscience. It's also a living being and has a right to life, and I shouldn't decide whether it gets to live or not."

Perhaps you are looking for arguments against having an abortion — this may be part of your own journey as you seek to make a decision. Or maybe you have already made up your mind and are gathering counterarguments to strengthen your position.

Either way, this article is for you, providing you with personal as well as general reasons not to have an abortion.

Abortion Pros & Cons — Your Self-Evaluation

Wondering what to do? Answer three multiple-choice questions regarding your present situation. Within seconds your results will arrive on your screen.

Why Make a List of Reasons Not to Have an Abortion?

Perhaps you sense that abortion is out of the question for you, but you are being advised or pressured perhaps even by your partner) to have an abortion. That is when you need good arguments against having an abortion. By law, no one is allowed to force you to have an abortion. In order to avert this, you need to draw a clear line on which path you want to follow and how you want to be treated.

Even if you are still in the midst of the decision-making process, comparing this list of disadvantages of abortion to your own arguments against keeping the baby will make for a strong decision. Weighing up the pros and cons can be especially helpful if you are feeling torn.

Seeking arguments against abortion is an integral part of the thought processes that lead to a sound decision. So here are some basic arguments for you to adopt, should you so desire:

Part 1: Four External Reasons Against Having an Abortion

Some arguments are externally apparent and universally applicable because they touch on the lived experience of women across the board. We call these external reasons:

  • Abortions interfere with the body’s natural processes and are, therefore, accompanied by physical risks.

    In rare cases, abortions can lead to injuries, causing permanent damage to the mucous membrane, the cervix, or the uterus.

  • Abortion results in the fact that this child will never be born. You will neither get to know them nor experience the many joys of motherhood (at least not as it relates to this child).

    If contemplating this is painful, you have just been given a powerful argument against abortion — deciding against your own intuition is likely to leave a mark.

  • Turning back time: You or your partner may hope that, after the abortion, everything will revert to the way it was before the pregnancy.

    Unfortunately, counseling experience teaches us otherwise. The fact that you had been pregnant will always remain — regardless of whether you decide to continue the pregnancy or not. You can look at it this way: The fundamental change has already occurred; your choice lies in what you do with it.

    Our decisions impact us. They are ever present and shape our identity. Therefore, it is impossible to go back to the way things were.

  • If you feel that abortion is the only way to escape external pressures, this actually counts as an argument against it. In other words, being pressured is not an argument in support of abortion.

    By law, you have the right to make this decision on your own. Your feelings and conscience should not be overrun by others’ opinions because you will be the one who has to carry out the choice. No matter how you choose, you will have to live with the consequences. Use the freedom you are given!

Part 2: Five Personal Reasons Against Having an Abortion

In addition to the general, more obvious arguments, there are also "personal reasons" for opposing an abortion. These arguments encompass everything that is not initially apparent because they deal with what happens in the woman’s innermost being. Precisely, these unique motivations should not be underestimated.

When considering the "cons" becomes more than a mental exercise but a quest for direction, you probably sense the vast ramifications for you personally.

It boils down to the questions of who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to live — to what extent is your own identity a powerful argument against abortion?

  • Not every woman feels emotional repercussions immediately after an abortion — but some experience long-term psychological strain, such as deep sadness or the sense of having made an irreversible mistake. These consequences can impact women for months or even years.

  • During counseling, many women share about feeling an inner reluctance or hesitance when considering an abortion.

    Perhaps you do, too — something just does not feel right about it:

    • Sometimes, women have compelling dreams just before the scheduled abortion appointment.

    • Others feel physically sick at the thought of having an abortion.

    • Again, others experience intense emotions, such as a sense of heaviness or tightness, when considering an abortion. Feelings of anxiety may arise.

    Don’t ignore these outward representations of your innermost convictions when making important decisions. These gentle nudges reveal your inner compass, pointing you to your true north.

  • Perhaps your partner wants you to have an abortion. He may have even hinted or told you that you must choose between him and the baby. If you decide to have an abortion because of the pressure your partner is putting you under or to not lose him, your relationship will probably not emerge unscathed. An abortion “for his sake” will likely also take its toll on you personally.

    Unfortunately, by having an abortion, many relationships fail because of the very decision that was supposed to save them.

    Take into consideration that men need time to come to terms with this new situation. Their demands are often just knee-jerk reactions to their concerns about the pregnancy. Gradually, many fathers will show responsibility by providing the desired support when given sufficient time. This opportunity is lost when an abortion is chosen.

  • In addition to the possible effects on your relationship, the decision to have an abortion may also change the dynamic with other family members. Even young children are often in tune with what is going on — even though we think they are well shielded. It is safe to assume that most children have a sense of what has taken place and feel the after-effects.

    Mothers and infants usually share a very tight bond, causing children to intuitively know what their mother is feeling. A deep-seated insecurity may spread among the siblings, stemming from a hazy sense of what has occurred. The mother’s grief over the family’s “vacant space" can be passed on to them — because, whatever the mother feels, the children feel also.

  • Could you imagine having a(nother) child one day, but this does not seem to be the right timing? In this case, you (and your partner) may view the current situation very differently in the long run. Your outlook may change within the course of several years — or it may change soon after making the decision when hormone levels begin to stabilize…

    When you feel too focused on one detail, it may be helpful to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Imagine an older you speaking into the decision you are making today. What would you say?

Part 3: Conclusion — Three Action Steps

This article has shown that the reasons not to have an abortion reflect the uniqueness of each woman. Now it is your turn to take these arguments and to decide for yourself how much weight to give each argument. Which of these do you want to own? In order to do so, you may want to take the following steps:

1. Take time alone — especially during the initial confusion

Calmly consider your doubts and questions before making a final decision. Take your time with things!

2. Choose self-awareness

Have the courage to follow your gut instinct! You know yourself best and will recognize a red flag by how you feel about a choice. Take this inkling seriously!

3. Make your own decision

You are free to take all the time you are given by legal parameters, free to take or leave the advice you have received, free to know what you want and to act upon it.

We Continue to Be There for You!

Would it be helpful to have a sounding board for all your thoughts and concerns?

Would you like to have a neutral voice speaking to your situation?

We are here for you by providing judgment-free resources to support your decision-making process:

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