Reasons Against Terminating the Pregnancy
- “I don’t have the heart to go through with the abortion. I would never forgive myself.”
We hear this type of argument frequently during our counseling sessions.
- “I will keep the baby — Not because I am excited to have it, but because I don’t want to kill it. I could not square it with my conscience. It's also a living being and has a right to life, and I shouldn't decide whether it gets to live or not."
This is also a recurring argument from women as to why they choose not to have an abortion.
- “I am afraid that I may be missing my only chance to ever have a child.”
Women, who desire to have a baby one day, but the present circumstances do not seem ideal, often cite this argument as to why they ultimately decide against a termination.
Perhaps you are looking for arguments against having an abortion — this may be part of your own journey as you seek to make a decision.
Or perhaps you have already made up your mind and are gathering counter-arguments to strengthen your position.
Either way, this article is for you, providing you with personal, as well as general reasons:
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Why Make a List of Reasons Not to Have an Abortion?
Perhaps you sense that abortion is out of the question, but you are receiving advice or even pressure (by your partner?) to have an abortion. That is when you need good arguments against having an abortion. No one should be able force you to have an abortion. In order to avert this, you need to be sure of your own desires.
Even if you are still in the midst of the decision-making process, comparing this list of disadvantages of an abortion to your own arguments will make for a strong decision Weighing up the pros and cons can be especially helpful if you are feeling torn.
Seeking arguments against abortion is an important part of reaching a sound decision. Here are some basic arguments for you to adopt, should you so desire:
Part 1: Four General Reasons Against Having an Abortion
Some arguments are externally apparent and universally applicable. These are listed here under general reasons:
Abortion results in the fact that this child will never be born. You will neither get to know him or her, nor experience the many of the joys of motherhood (at least not as it relates to this child).
If contemplating this is painful, you have just been given a powerful argument against abortion. Deciding against your own intuition is likely to leave a mark.
Turning back time: You or your partner may hope that, after the abortion, everything will revert to the way it was before the pregnancy.
Unfortunately, counseling experience teaches us otherwise. The fact that you had been pregnant will always remain — regardless of whether you decide to continue the pregnancy or not. You can look at it this way: The fundamental change has already occurred; your choice lies in what you do with it.
Our decisions impact us. They are ever present and shape our identity. Therefore, it is impossible to go back to the way things were.
If you have the feeling that abortion is the only way to escape external pressures, this actually counts as an argument against it. In other words, feeling pressured is not an argument in support of abortion.
You have the personal right to make this decision on your own. Your feelings and conscience should not be overrun, because you will be the one who has to live with the consequences, no matter how you choose.
Part 2: Five Personal Reasons Against Having an Abortion
In addition to the general, more obvious arguments, there are also "personal reasons" to oppose having an abortion. These arguments encompass everything that is not initially apparent, because they deal with what happens in the woman’s innermost being. These should not be underestimated.
There is a lot to consider if you are thinking through the “cons" - this is a hard decision to face! It boils down to the questions of who you are, who you want to be and how you want to live — in how far is your own identity is a powerful argument against abortion?
Not every woman suffers mentally immediately following an abortion — but some experience significant psychological strain long term, such as deep sadness or the sense of having made an irreversible mistake. These consequences can negatively impact a woman for months or even years.
During counseling, many women share about an inner reluctance or hesitance towards considering an abortion.
Perhaps you do, too - something just does not feel right about it:
- Some women share about compelling dreams just before the planned abortion date.
- Others feel physically sick at the thought of having an abortion.
- Again, others experience a heaviness or tightness when considering an abortion.
Don’t ignore these outward representations of your innermost convictions. Pay attention to them when making important decisions.
If you decide to have an abortion because of the pressure your partner is putting you under, or in order not to lose him, your relationship will not emerge unscathed. Abortion “for his sake” will take its toll.
Unfortunately, many relationships fail because of the very decision that was supposed to save them.
Take into consideration that men need time to come to terms with this new situation. Their demands are often just knee jerk reactions to their concerns about the pregnancy. In time, many fathers will come around and provide the desired support. This opportunity is lost when an abortion is chosen.
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In addition to the possible effects on your relationship, the decision for an abortion may also change the dynamic with others. Even young children are often in tune with what is going on — despite the fact that we think they are well shielded. It is safe to assume that most children have a sense of what has taken place and feel the after-effects.
Mother and child share a very tight bond, causing the child to intuitively know what the mother is feeling. A deep seated insecurity may spread among the siblings, stemming from a hazy sense of what has taken place. The mother’s grief over the family’s “vacant spot" can be passed on to them — because, what the mother feels, the children feel also.
Could you imagine having a(nother) child one day, but this just does not seem to be the right timing? In this case, you may view the current situation very differently in the long run. Your outlook may change within the course of several years — or it may change soon after making the decision, when hormone levels begin to stabilize…
When you feel like you are too focused on one detail, it may be helpful to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Imagine an older you, speaking into the decision you are making today. What would you say?
Part 3: Conclusion — Three Action Steps
This article has shown that the reasons not to have an abortion reflect the uniqueness of each woman. Now it is your turn to take these arguments and to decide for yourself which of these you want to own. In order to do so, you may want to take following steps:
1. Take time alone - especially during the initial confusion
Calmly consider your doubts and questions before making a final decision. This is not a time to rush things!
2. Choose self-awareness
Have the courage to follow your gut instinct! You will recognize a red flag by how you feel about a choice. Take it seriously!
3. Make your own decision
You are free to take all the time you are given by legal parameters; free to take or leave the advice you have received; free to know what you want and to act upon it.
Would you find it helpful to have a sounding board for all your thoughts and concerns? Would you like to have a neutral voice speaking into your situation?
We would like to provide you with judgement-free resources which will support you in your decision-making process.
- 💡 Thinking through a specific issue? Take the Solutions Finder Test
- ⛑ Wondering where to go from here? Take the First Aid Test
- 💪 Wondering whether you have what it takes? Take the Strengths Finder Test
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