Pregnant Again and Overwhelmed

Pregnant Again and Overwhelmed

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5 Steps Toward Less Stress 

  • Another pregnancy can be news worth celebrating - or a catalyst for feeling overwhelmed. 

  • This is a great opportunity to take stock of your situation in order to understand the reason behind feeling stressed. 

  • Try these five practical steps toward a less overwhelmed you. 

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5 Steps to Less Stress

“Pregnant again - how am I supposed to manage?” If that is you, these self-care tips are for you. They aim toward more breathing room and a fresh perspective. 

Even the smallest change can have a positive effect on your quality of life. 

 

Step #1: Seek Out Emotional Support 

Having the opportunity to say, “I am not really happy about this pregnancy” or “I am wondering whether I should have an abortion” without being judged is priceless. 

Friends or family often provide this kind of support. Think about who you would like to confide in.

ℹ️ The more undecided you are, the more exasperating the advice you will receive. Your loved ones may feel helpless when they see you flounder, reacting by giving circular advice and arguments, which lead you nowhere.

 

Step #2: Take Time and Be Patient - Even With Yourself! 

Pregnancies take a lot of patience, especially when they come as a complete surprise. 

Stress magnifies worries and concerns, while blocking out any positive emotion. Taking time to assess your situation will help you make practical changes. 

Your partner may also have a knee jerk reaction and will need time for the news to sink in.  

Under these circumstances, it makes complete sense that you would not feel any joyous anticipation. 

 

Step #3: Worst Case Scenario 

What is the worst case scenario in this situation? Asking yourself this question will narrow down the area in which help is needed.  

 For example: 

  • If your relationship is presently rocky, leading you to think about the implications of single motherhood, you may want to try couples counseling. Plan regular date nights in order to have some much needed one-on-one time with your partner.  

  • If your concern is for the needs of your other children to be met, consider who would be willing to lend a helping hand. Signing kids up for extracurricular activities may give you the opportunity to have some quality time with each child individually, or some much needed alone time. 

  • Are you outgrowing your living space? Check out family assistance programs such as United Way (call 211), Habitat for Humanity, or your local Department of Social Services. 

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Step #4: Alone Time 

Routine is a mom’s life-line. Still, you may have not included time to yourself in the daily mix. You can change this in good conscience, since the kids will benefit from having a more relaxed mom. 

How about next weekend? Would it be possible to get some time away? Perhaps you could meet with a friend. Taking time for yourself can lift the pressure you are under, giving you a fresh perspective and the opportunity to take a deep breath. 

For long term relief, take time to discuss your family schedule with your partner. This will clarify expectations and help you plan towards regular periods of alone time. Your revised schedule should include: 

  • Time to do whatever you want: a nap, a hobby, getting together with friends, or anything else you desire. 

  • Your partner also needs time for himself rather than focusing solely on work and family. 

  • Planning one-on-one time as a couple is equally important, since your little munchkins will take as much attention as you are willing to give. 

When you start feeling worn down, anticipating your next scheduled down-time will feel like a lifeline. 

Beyond that, it may be helpful to remember that this exhausting phase in life won't last. The kids won't stay toddlers forever. Soon you will enter an easier phase in life that leaves you more time for other things.

 

Step #5: Look Back and Celebrate How Far You Have Come! 

You probably have already experienced that being a mom often brings you to the end of your rope. Looking back makes you realize that you have accomplished what you had previously considered impossible. 

In advance, while sizing up the situation, we rarely realize what we are made of. Only while we tackle a hurdle do we display our true colors. In retrospect, it becomes clear that your mothering heart always rose to the occasion. Become aware of your inner strength which has brought you this far, and be proud of it! 

 

Pregnant Again – And So Many Questions 

As an experienced mother, you understand what mothering is all about. You know what this pregnancy holds and are familiar with the beauty of motherhood – the sense of fulfillment, the joys, the priceless moment of holding your baby for the first time. Having a baby makes your life richer. 

But taking care of a child can also be very draining, including sleepless nights, the terrible twos, sibling rivalry, mounds of laundry, and not having enough time for one’s relationship. Other things may be added to the mix - a move, a challenging job, or the care of a family member. Without the necessary support, your own needs are most likely placed on the back burner. 

Under these circumstances, it is completely understandable that a pregnancy would give rise to mixed emotions. You may even feel a sense of anxiety or panic. Perhaps you are only just realizing how overwhelmed you really are. 

 

Taking Stock - A Real Opportunity 

One thought may be dominating right now: There is no room for an extra child in my life! 

This is actually a great opportunity, as it could present a turning point in finally receiving the help you need. Life may in fact become simpler - in spite of adding an extra child. 

This is the time to take stock: 

  • What is going really well? Why? 

  • In which area do I feel overwhelmed? What is hard for me? 

  • What kind of support would be really helpful (even if this initially sounds unrealistic)? 

  • What are my needs? 

Even if specific solutions are not easily apparent, the first step is to be aware of your needs. Only then it is possible to seek some long overdue relief, such as an occasional baby-sitter, a cleaner, or a weekend getaway as a couple. Life with an additional child may end up being more relaxed and peaceful than before! 

Make use of local organizations that support family life! Search online for “family services near me” to find what is available in your area. 

 

Where to Go From Here: 

You just read this article and like some of the ideas, but are feeling too overwhelmed to even get started? You are not alone! Allow us to walk alongside you. Our judgement-free resources help you take one small step at a time. Why not give it a try? 

No doubt you are well prepared to be the best mom possible for your child. Your specific personality traits give you the ability to meet your child’s needs in a way that only you can. You were made for this!  

 

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