Pregnant from One Night Stand – Where to go from here?
- A pregnancy after a one night stand (ONS) often comes as a complete shock – but it can happen despite the use of contraceptives.
- Even if you became pregnant as a result of casual sex, you are still entitled to the same rights given to any other expectant mother.
- Take time to consider your best course of action, while seeking the care and support of others.
🤰 Wondering whether you could be pregnant? Take the Online Pregnancy Test
Returning from the Magic of the Moment to Stark Reality
You may both have gotten a bit tipsy that night at a party or during a business trip. Your mutual attraction had you spellbound. The magic of the moment cast all else aside.
It has been a while since that night... But there is something about your little adventure - with no strings attached – that refuses to stay in the past. Perhaps your period is late, or you just took a pregnancy test that came back positive.
It is understandable that this would come as a complete shock to you. Your feelings are probably alternating between panic and powerlessness. Several questions are likely running through your mind: How could this happen? Where do I go from here? Whom can I turn to? And: Should I let him know?
This chaos of thoughts and emotions is normal and completely understandable. Even if you are feeling under pressure to act quickly, choose to take a deep breath right now. Wait it out until you are able to see things more clearly.
- 👤 What is your personality type and how does that affect your pregnancy? Take the Personality Test
How Could This Happen?
You are not the only one facing this dilemma. Pregnancy after casual sex, such as a one night stand or a Tinder date, is not uncommon. Of course, it is possible that one thing led to another, and contraception was the last thing on your mind. But this is not the norm.
Still, no form of contraception is foolproof. Conception, despite contraceptives, is quite common.
There is no need to blame yourself or get reprimanded by others. Pregnancies can occur just as easily after a casual hookup as they do in a relationship – Even if you never expected to get pregnant after a one night stand.
Let Him Know?
Of course, this pregnancy also concerns someone other than yourself: The father of the baby. You may be wondering whether you should tell him. This could be a potentially sticky situation since it was supposed to be nothing more than a single night.
Unless it was a Tinder-style arrangement, your one night stand was probably not planned. Now you may be facing some hurdles: You may only know his first name and you may not have exchanged numbers with one another. Locating him may pose a challenge. Even if you are better acquainted, you may be unsure of whether to tell him about the repercussions of your night together.
- You may be experiencing anger or embarrassment over what has happened – for example, if you are in a relationship with someone else, and this was just a slip-up,, or for similar reasons. This is addressed in: Pregnant by Another Man
- You may fear his aggravation, or coercive measures, e.g., if he is in another relationship or is making insinuations. You may find helpful advice and useful tips regarding this situation in (the article): He Does Not Want the Baby on how to react by reading: He Does Not Want the Baby.
You have the right to protect yourself, regardless of the situation.. For now, it may be wise to keep the pregnancy to yourself, until you are sure of what you really want. Either way, the decision on how to handle the pregnancy is completely up to you.
Many men want to know if they have fathered a child – after all, it is their baby, too. Our counseling experience has proven that co-parenting is possible outside of a relationship. This may be a thought to consider in your situation.
Should you start out raising your child on your own, know that there is plenty of support available:
Does the Dad Have Rights and Obligations?
Even though the pregnancy was unintended, the father usually has certain obligations, such as paying child support.
From a legal standpoint, there is no difference between a baby, conceived within a firm relationship or from casual sex. Lawmakers have the child’s best interest in mind – it should not be disadvantaged by the marital status of its parents.
For information on the father’s rights and obligations, refer to our regional directory in:
ℹ️ Note: If you purposely misled him to believe you were using contraception, paternal laws remain unaffected. His responsibility to the child remains the same, whether he agreed to the pregnancy, or not.
If you do not feel you have the “right” to carry his baby, know: This is a game-changer. You have the legal backing to reassess this altered situation, taking every option into consideration.
What Matters Most
You may feel very alone in this pregnancy. Your first step may be to identify someone who you can confide in: Someone who understands and is willing to listen, rather than being judgmental or prone to suggesting a quick-fix.
Can you think of someone who would be willing to walk this path alongside you? A good friend? Your sister? A kind aunt who is not easily flustered?... Someone who knows you well and respects your values?
Perhaps you do not want to share this with anyone – because you are afraid being met with opposition or judgement. Neither would be very helpful to you in this situation. It is understandable that you want to guard yourself against negative reactions.
This is where we come in. Allow us to be your sounding board, by providing you with free digital coaching, while you remain completely anonymous. Our judgement-free services were created with your situation in mind:
- Wondering whether to have an abortion? ⚖️ Take the Abortion Test
- Unsure where to go from here? ⛑ First Aid Test
- Dealing with a specific concern?💡 Solutions Finder Test
- Do I have what it takes? 💪 Strengths Finder Test
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