Unintended Pregnancy with the Third, Fourth, or Fifth ... Child

Unintended Pregnancy with the Third, Fourth, or Fifth ...Baby

1256399506 | YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV | shutterstock.com

Is That Even Doable? 

Nowadays anything beyond the two-kid nuclear family is seen as atypical. The thought of having a third, fourth, or fifth child would likely trigger mixed feelings. You were done with having children and had set new goals for yourself. 

Or perhaps you are simply wondering how you and your family would cope – logistically, financially, and energy-wise. 

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Five Common Concerns and Workable Solutions 

There are many reasons for having reservations about another pregnancy. Here is a summary of the most common obstacles women face, and possible steps to overcome them. 


#1: Finances

An additional family member means more mouths to feed. Even if you still have all the baby gear, you might need a bigger car and more living space. Perhaps there are other expenses which are draining your resources right now. These could dampen your joy over a new arrival. 

Workable Solution: Financial Support 

Financial Support is available to you. You just need to know where to look! 


#2: Returning to Work 

You may currently be on maternity leave and were planning on returning to work, soon. Perhaps you were looking forward to the change in routine and had planned accordingly. 

It is understandable that you might wonder, “Do I always have to prioritize everyone else’s needs? What about me?” 

Workable Solution: Holding Space for Yourself 

You are right: You need to intentionally create space for you to show up in your life – especially if you have several children. 

Even if your return to work is postponed for a while: Schedule non-negotiable downtime for yourself on a regular basis. Perhaps there is a project you had always wanted to get done – plan for it! What kind of support could you avail yourself? Could you occasionally hire a babysitter? 


#3: He Does not Want Another Child 

Perhaps you have already started bonding with the baby growing inside you. Your partner’s negative reaction would tear you apart. 

He may be concerned whether he has what it takes to be a good father to an additional child. Perhaps he also has financial reservations, desiring to be a good provider for all of you. These are common reasons for him to have reservations regarding the pregnancy. 

Workable Solution: Give Him Time 

It may encourage you to know that most skeptical dads experience a change of heart. Even those who initially reject the notion of having another baby, embrace the child wholeheartedly, when the time comes. 

For now, give your partner time. While you are missing his strong shoulder to lean on, we would love to be there for you. Take advantage of our digital coaching: 


#4: Overwhelmed

Of course, each additional child will fill your plate even more, adding to the responsibilities that are already present. 

Sometimes you may feel like you are drowning… You are not the only one who feels that way. The lives of others often look perfect on the outside — until you peel back the façade. Most moms know — from experience — what you are talking about. 

Workable Solution 1: Life Hacks

Every mom discovers her own life hacks for her day-to-day life. What are some of yours? Do you save time and energy by occasionally ordering takeout and skipping the meal prep? Do you welcome shortcuts, such as using paper plates and disposable diapers to avoid spending as much time on cleanup? Do you insist on regular naptimes, so that you can get some rest? You can probably think of even more ways to simplify your life… 

Sometimes, we just need to set new priorities: Time for yourself and the kids is more important than keeping the house immaculate. 

Workable Solution 2: Practical Support 

This may be an opportunity to reevaluate your daily life. Where have you already reached your limit? What measures need to be put in place to banish the overwhelm? The following articles aim to identify where support is needed and how it can be facilitated. 


#5: Malicious Gossip 

“What will they say when they find out that I am expecting again?” 

It is a sad truth that people think they need to voice their opinion regarding your family size. Everyone seems to know exactly when you should or should not have a baby. They will also promptly inform you of the appropriate number of children. 

This kind of attitude is especially hard to shrug off when it comes from friends or family.  

Workable Solution: Experiencing Family Life 

It may be helpful to think about the fact that people love to gossip – often motivated by their desire to redirect other’s attention from their own issues. 

Sometimes it is merely a matter of choosing to ignore the jabs while responding with kindness. 

While the sensational value of this new baby will quickly be forgotten, the bond and comfort of a large family will last. 

Taking Your Next Steps… 

Perhaps you are still wondering where to go from here, and your specific obstacle was not addressed in this article. Or maybe you are still feeling unsure about how to put some of these ideas into practice. 

Feel free to make use of our digital coaching resources, to gain a fresh perspective of the road that lies before you: 


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